SECOND PUBERTY #1: Super Modesty Bros.

Squinky and the Squinkettes present: SECOND PUBERTY is a currently-in-progress series of seven short games about the weirdness of feeling like a teenager and a thirtysomething-year-old at the same time.

In 2018, I began hormone replacement therapy after a lengthy period of hesitation – while I had understood myself to be transgender for several years prior, I was unsure as to whether my gender dysphoria was really “enough” to merit hormonal transition, and worried that the changes would be more than I could handle. To my pleasant surprise, my experience so far has been overwhelmingly positive, changing my relationship with my body for the better and making me feel hopeful about the future in ways I never thought were possible for me. Yet, with that hope comes regret and heartbreak for the past, and how long I spent enduring painfully uncomfortable circumstances I had no idea I could change.

SECOND PUBERTY is my way of grappling with these feelings, which its development in and of itself mirrors. The game is being created using the Godot engine, which is free and open source and completely new to me, yet makes a lot of sense to my brain, especially compared to many other engines and frameworks I’ve tried working with in the past. The individual games I’m designing focus more on movement and audiovisual experience than on text, which is a change for me as someone whose game design focus has primarily been narrative and interactive fiction – as a person who’s finally rediscovering what it feels like to truly inhabit a body after spending so many years stuck in my head, this feels only fitting.

The first game in the series is called “Super Modesty Bros.” and it is a reflection, of sorts, on my restrictive religious upbringing and the ways it made me suppress my authentic desires and ways of being in favour of behaving “correctly”. It is also just incredibly silly. Here is what it looks like:

You can play this now, and every subsequent game in the SECOND PUBERTY series as I finish them, by supporting me on Patreon. When all the games in the series are finished, I will release the whole thing to the rest of the world.